I received a call from my boy’s school that my son who is 6 years old was involved in a confrontation with another student and that student ended up with a bleeding nose from being hit by two of the boys in the group that my son was with. All though my son did not do the actual physical aspect of the actions he was voluntarily there.
When I got home my son had already been picked up by his mom by my request as I was furious and wanted to cool down. I came through the door and my boy knew it was about to become a very bad day!! Typically that would be the case as I can have quite a boisterous voice and am an aggressive personality but I did not say a word and did what I had to do and went and sat on the couch and asked my boy nicely to come sit and talk with me. Not sure what was going through my mind as this was not usual and with not much choice but to comply he came and sat down and I explained I received a call from his school and would like to know if he cared to explain to me what happened. He went through the story and told me that this one student was not “cool” and although he did not punch him he was there. I let him know that the poor boy ended up with a bleeding nose and that my boy would not like to be bullied like that in which he agreed.
I was not done with this as I had a true story that I wanted to share with him about when I was not much older than he was right now so I asked him to sit and listen.
I told him that back when I was in school there was a boy that was not as cool as the rest of us named Mike and at first I used to sit and watch my “cool” friends bully him and never said a thing. One day I had enough and took Mike under my wing and stood up for him and hung out with him. We only lived a block from each other and would ride our bikes together for hours on really long trips and had a great time! I still kept my cool friends too but made sure they didn’t bother my friend Mike. I told my boy it has been many many years since I have been out of school and funny thing is I do not have a clue where even one of those cool friends of mine were but I still have one friend that I still talk to to this day and do you know who that is I asked? He answered right away “is it Mike Dad!” He was right I am still friends with Mike after all these years. I told my boy that he can’t judge a person by what others think but by what that person has to offer others.
The next day all was good and I finished work and headed over to pick up the kids as usual. I asked my son how his day was and if he stayed out of trouble? He told me he had a great day and had no troubles at school. He proceeded to tell me he had drawn a really nice picture of a sun and a park and him and his friend having fun. He told me that he had drawn this picture for his new friend and he didn’t have it to show me what a great job he did because he had given it to the student that had been punched and had told him he was sorry. I was in tears in a split second and couldn’t see the road from my emotion and sense of pride that I had with this young little man! I never once suggested he do anything of the sort and he had done this all on his own and what was amazing to me is I didn’t raise my voice once when I had gotten home the night before or used any grounding as a punishment and just listened and talked. This was the proudest moment to date I have of being his Dad!!